For sake of letting you know I'm alive...

...Here is a trip down memory lane.

I was "Miss Understood"... that outfit was my idea of being goth-punk when I was 15...
Playing with cards when we should've been sleeping.  Sleeping on a floor, btw.  Life of a travelling show performer :) 
I'm the one with my head thrown back, full splits in the orange and pink...
In the center with the rifle in the pink and orange!
Marching band and drill team "Blue Shades"
Can you spot me?  I have a rifle.
Sylves and I drinkin' in the hotel.  So badass.
Parades. Whoooo.
Group hang... we partied so hard.
Winterguard.

April 2004 in San Diego, at the Winterguard World Championship.  I'm on the right on the end.
What I'm getting at is... I never realized how "American" I am until getting away and spending so much time with non-Americans.  I have friends joke about how "American" my stories sound.  They sound like movies or "Saved by the Bell" episodes. 

So, this post is celebrating that.

Love,

Michaela

"...and every tomorrow is a day I never planned."

Today was the Queen's birthday, which means it was a three day weekend for most people. For me, it meant I worked Sat and Sun but had today off. Well, originally I was supposed to be doing the Great Ocean Road with a friend, but they backed out on me. I had had the opportunity to work and get 2 and a half times the pay for the day, but denied cause I thought I was going on the trip. Oh well, such is life. I did need the money so I can get the hell out of Melbourne quicker (but, my taxback money will help with that!).

Hilary, Scott, Mark and I all spent the day watching Footy (AFL Melbourne vs Collingwood), playing golf (card game), yahtzee, and monopoly. We also went and saw "Get Him To The Greek" which was HILARIOUS! Highly recommended.

The day was actually a success, even though I had spent the night before and most of my morning so pissed I was red-eyed. Looked like a proper pot head, minus the pot. Friends helped me through, though.

And, Hilary and I were talking and said how bored we are getting of Melbourne. It's just too cold for us and we want something else. I do feel sort of locked into the life I have right now, and it feels to permanent for me. Perhaps I will move on sooner than expected? It's not like I have anything keeping me tied down here :)

That's what I love about what I'm doing... I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. I would NEVER do that back home.

Okay, this was a just a short update to let you know I am alive.

Love,

Michaela

If there is a question about my intentions I'll tell ya 

I'm not here to sell ya 

Or tell you to go to hell 

(I'm not a brat like that) 

I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged 

If you can understand this 

We can make some magic 

I'm wrong like that 

I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go 

I wanna be a part of something I don't know 

And if you try to hold me back I might explode 

Baby by now you should know 

I can't be tamed, I can't be tamed, I can't be blamed 

I can't can't, I can't can't be tamed 

I can't be changed 

I can't be tamed, 

I can't be be, I can't be tamed 

Welcome to the jungle.

Welcome to Melbourne!


I ride on these to work:


I live by this:


I eat a lot of Dim Sum (seriously, why had I never heard of this before?):


Australians EAT Magnums:


And, they have a GAYTIME:


They are obsessed with a show called NEIGHBOURS (there are tours...):


And, they speak just plain funny:





Love,
Michaela

Ramble... Ramble... Ramble...

I ended up spending $300 today at David Jones (a department store). Yea, it was things I needed, so I'm justifying it... but, since when do I spend that much shopping?? I bought a coat, pants, socks, a purse, and boots... not bad!

Thursday night I went out to the city with my friend Sarah (German) and Jill (German) and my roommate Mark (Canadian). We met an Italian and a British girl and hung out with them all night. Arron (Canadian, if you don't remember!) came a bit later, and we all listened to live music until the wee hours of the night.

Friday I worked all day, 11am to Midnight, but went out to a club called Cookie to get a few drinks with coworkers. It's Tobias' last week before he goes back to Sweden, so we were all celebrating him! I sat on the rooftop bar, chatting with coworkers from New Zealand, Australia, America, Canada, Sweden, and Germany. Crazy, eh?

Based on my last post, I was thinking about love and lust and heart break. It was due to recent developments with a few different friends, and of course, based on my own life. I'm slowly learning to enjoy each day as it comes. To enjoy each moment and not think about the next, until it happens. I slip up, a lot... I'm not perfect (pretty damn close, though!). I can have an invasive personality who likes to pry. I can be a bit much sometimes. I can also be shy and awkward. I stutter when I'm nervous... All that aside, I'm learning to be comfortable in my own skin and comfortable with life. I want a lot out of this life, but I need to learn to take it one step at a time. I have expectations out of my life; some may happen and some won't. I can't let little disappointments keep me from bigger dreams.

Life is all about waiting for the lines to line up. If you get what I mean. You can have all the preparation or hope in the world, but if luck and timing isn't there, it's not going to happen.

I'm so happy where I am in life and who I'm with, but time is running out. I plan on heading out in September for either home or New Zealand, where I have to start over either way. I need to stop thinking about the future and focus on the now. Enjoy the moments I have with each and every person, especially those that matter most.

I believe people need to treat relationships, 'like', love and lust all the same as you should treat life. If you force it, try to fit all the pieces together at once, it's going to fall apart. Be patient, and good things happen.

I'm being patient with my life... smelling the roses along the way. Spending my paychecks on cute coats and boots, but also saving a lot of it to move on to something new and exciting in life. I'm learning to balance pleasure and duty in my life... working to get the things I want, but not working too hard to miss the important things, like enjoying a drink with people from all over the world. Or, coming over to Arron's at midnight, after a really long day, just to chat and have a cookie (I can't say no to cookies!).

When I was in Maggie Island I had a lot of time to sit around, and it drove me crazy after awhile. I'd rather be busy. And, that I am...

Off to work.

Love, Michaela

"My heart it beats, beats for only you."

I know I have written this before, and for sure I've asked this question to many of you, but it's a topic of interest again.

Why do we allow ourselves to fall, helplessly, for another individual, when we know how bad it hurts when it all falls apart? What makes us so resilient to this pain and able to bounce back to try it again? Or, why do some people give up on love all together, not able to bounce back? What makes us fall for someone so hard, anyway?

Everyone knows that I fled America for Australia because of a broken heart (it was one of the leading reasons, any ways), so what would make me want to try and look for love again if I know how bad it can tear me apart? I have friends who I have seen hurt so bad due to relationships falling apart, but then I've been right there when they jump, head first, into it all again.

Are we crazy? Why do we need someone else to validate us? What is it that makes certain people so attractive and make our heart flutter just at the sound of their name?

I'm sure everyone has also been the person to like someone so much, only to know that you come second rate to the person that they are really crazy for. They could like you, but that other person makes them weak in the knees. I've wanted so bad to make someone's knees weak over me, but you can't force that.

I have all these questions, but I don't have any answers. I will be there to support my friends when what they want so bad falls apart, as I hope they would be there for me.

Now, don't start worrying about me. I don't have a broken heart or anything, I'm actually doing all right for myself, but I've just been contemplating this lately based on circumstance. We'll keep fighting to fall in love, knowing that we'll probably fall apart.

Also, I don't think I'm going to come back to America in September... instead, I think I will go to New Zealand for a couple of months. I'm not ready to go back! :)

Sarah came back from New Zealand and sparked that interest a little more. We went and got a pizza and drinks with some friends last night, and I'm about to go meet them again in the city. I also work 13 hours tomorrow! Eek!

Love,
Michaela