Why hello world, it has been awhile.
Here I am, sitting at Arron's place, living up my last few days in Melbourne. I leave this Saturday to meet an old friend from high school up in Sydney. I have 18 more days in Australia.
A week and a half ago I went to Tassie (pronounced Tazzie) with my English friend Rob. We went and spent a few days in Hobart, which is a sleepy sea-side town. Ironically, it's the capital of Tasmania, but felt more like a small town. There was no "city bustle." I then arrived back in Melbourne at about 9:45 pm on Monday night, slept in the airport, just so I could fly out the next morning to Alice Springs with Arron and Jess. Yes, you read that right, I slept in an airport. I use the world "sleep" pretty loosely too. Mostly, I stared at walls and walked aimlessly around.
Alice Springs is located in the Northern Territory, which is the center of the Outback. This is the "true Australia" out there. We did a three day/two night camping tour of the Outback. We saw The Olgas, Ayers Rock, and Kings Canyon. I saw true aboriginals, walked through Red Dirt, ate a kangaroo (or two), slept outside under the stars (saw the milky way AND the southern cross!), hid my shoes from dingos, and made damper (an aboriginal delicacy cooked over the fire). It was so different than anything I have ever done before, but I loved it. Most of the people in our group were from Korea (South, not North), and it was hilarious listening to them introduce themselves. We all had to go to the front of the bus and say something about ourselves and sing a song. They all mostly sounded like: "Hi, I am [insert common Korean name here], but you can call me Anne. No speak Engrish well, but here is my song. [insert common Korean song where rest of bus joins in by singing and clapping.]"
I got up and sang a little bit of Loretta Lynn's "Ain't Woman Enough." The funny thing is, years ago I wouldn't have done it. I would have been too terrified to make a fool out of myself. It made me put into prospective the person I am today. I take risks that, years ago, would've made me rather dive off a bridge. On our way back to Alice Springs we had to sing another song, so I sang the chorus to "Achy Breaky Heart." Like I had said before, I have become more country by getting out of America. Save me!
Ever since coming back, I've just been hanging out, enjoying my last week. Sunday there was a celebration at Harbour Town Hotel for Melbourne Ice winning their final game, so I hung out with people from work and the Melbourne Ice team. Still find it weird that I moved 15,000 km from home just to hang out with a bunch of hockey enthusiasts? I do. Although, according to Arron, people here know shit about hockey. Forgive him, he's Canadian. It's all they're good at. :P
Anyways, lots of other developments have been happening outside of my Aussie world. For one, I'm pretty sure my family has been stalking me on facebook. I kid, I kid, but seriously, you all are coming out of the woodwork. My step mom and dad added me on facebook... it's like my past is slowing creeping up to me, forcing me to embrace it. Long lost cousins and aunts as well (these are okay... step mom and dad are taking a bit of getting used to). But, I found out that my Uncle Jeffry died a few days ago. He was 39 years old. 39. That's so young, and he had a heart attack. Really, it just makes me want to live my life to the fullest even more. Take more chances, because you never know when it will be your last.
On top of all that, Kipp sent me a friend request on facebook. Okay, I get it, it's just facebook. What harm would come out of us being facebook friends? But, that's the point, facebook makes it so easy for us to get information on anyone's lives without having to really be connected to them. Can't I just make a clean break? Years ago, if you wanted to rekindle something with someone or just catch up, you called them. You sent an email. You sent a letter. You didn't just send a passive friend request, just so you could read their status updates and stalk their pictures just so you could feel more connected to them. Facebook disconnects us from each other. But, that's besides the point.
I sent him a message a few days later asking "why?" Also, telling him that I can't. I have no ill will towards him and only wish him the best, but I cannot be his friend. He responded saying that he reads my blog, just wants to be friends, and wishes me the best. "Reads my blog??" Holy shit. I mean, I know people read this sometimes, but anytime someone actually says they do I go back and read a bunch of posts just to get an idea what someone else might see when they stumble upon this. I know what Kipp reads. I remember the parts where I talked about him... the things I've revealed. Do I really want to be friends with an ex when they know so much about me? They know how fragile they left me? It's taken me 8 months of not talking to Kipp to get to the point where not responding to his message is okay. I don't think about him every day. I ignored the friend request, and it didn't really bother me. Being his friend would bother me more than not being his friend. I've grown too much to regress back to that. Maybe we can be friends someday, but not today. Not anytime soon.
Thank you for reading that ramble... I hope I have updated you on my life. I can't believe I went half a month without posting!
Love,
Michaela
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